Friday, December 24, 2010

It's Time For Technological Abstinence

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"Seinfeld" creator Larry David based an entire episode of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" around the premise that he refused to have any sexual fetishes because he was afraid of what might come out if he got divorced. He should have expanded the conceit of that episode to include the dangers of sex fetishes in the age of the Internet.

In a year that began with the uncovering of Tiger Woods' extramarital shenanigans, extended into Brett Favre's sexting of Jenn Sterger, and finally culminates with Jets coach Rex Ryan role-playing a police officer aroused by his wife's feet hanging out the driver's side window of an SUV, we no longer doubt that the sex scandal was the biggest story of sports in 2010. (By the way, if you think things are tough on Rex and his wife, imagine what it's like right now for their teenage kids in the wake of the publication of their parents' foot fetish videos. Is there anything more embarrassing than your parents publicly uploading foot fetish videos to the Internet? I mean, really, anything. Most teenagers are ashamed to get dropped off in front of the high school by their parents. This? Just, ouch).

In the wake of these three scandals -- and there will be many more to come, trust me -- it's truer than ever before: sex makes men do stupid things. It does, this is an indisputable fact. If you're a man reading this and you deny that fact, then you're a liar.
That's been the case throughout history. No matter who you are or how noble your life's pursuits were, sex has made you do something stupid.

I'm sure that some of the greatest men in recorded history: Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, cotton gin inventor Eli Whitney and George Washington all did stupid things relating to sex. If George Washington Carver had been able to sext, instead of discovering 300 uses for the peanut, he would have only found one, eat it.

We just didn't hear about all these men's peccadilloes -- Thomas Jefferson excepted -- because there wasn't a permanent record of their sexual mistakes.

That's why I'm here with a holiday tip for athletes that will keep you from being the next Brett Favre, Tiger Woods, or Rex Ryan.

The only safe sex in an Internet age? Technological abstinence.

Source: http://nfl.fanhouse.com/2010/12/23/its-time-for-technological-abstinence/

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